But to Proffer the Gift of Life Eternal

Romans 1:20
For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

One night recently my wife and I came home to find this beautiful creature sitting on our door step. He was very kind to allow us to get close enough to take these photos. I assume that this is a moth of some kind. Some of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen have been moths. I have encountered them in wild colors and patterns as well as shapes and sizes- pure white with purple spots circled in black, gray with pinkish symmetrical bands, and so on. The colors and their contrasts would make any artist a creative genius. The shapes and sizes are the very definition of creativity and imagination. The combination of these attributes declare an unparalleled love for beauty.

Astonished! With flashing of eyes, stunned by Your glory,
In awe and wonder I see Your hand,
Supreme Creator consummate Architect, in love You tell Your story,
In awe and wonder I see Your hand,
Overwhelmed I give You my heart

When I survey the array of all Your deeds, my heart stirs, I begin to see,
Your love for man, Your pursuit therein,
Mountains and lowlands, blue skies and black, above and below the sea,
Your love for man, Your pursuit therein,
Overwhelmed I give You my heart

Whom among artists, creators, or play writes, paints, creates or writes to curtain,
But to proffer the gift of Life eternal
From alpha to omega, beginning and end, all Your majesty Your splendor display
But to proffer the gift of Life eternal
Overwhelmed I give You my heart

SC Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Oh How I Love the Salt Water

This weekend my wife and I went to Charleston to spend the day relaxing at the beach. We spent the night with my sister-in-law who lives in downtown Charleston in a two hundred year old house that was built by slaves. Aside from the new pluming, electrical, and sheetrock the entire house is as it was originally built. It is a beautiful old south home in one of the beautiful old south cities. I spent much time imagining the people and what they would have looked like who built and lived in the home. I love history so this was especially fun for me.

During the day I fished off of the Folly Beach pier while the wife napped on the beach. There was a very strong rip current so the water was murky which made the fishing difficult. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of it. It did make it hard for game fish to see the bait which is why the only things people were catching were the spotted sea trout, whiting, and sharks- many sharks like this Sand Shark my wife captured here with me. He was the second largest that I caught at around 10 lbs. and 30+ " long. He fought like a 40 pounder of any other species which I enjoyed immensely. After enough sharks taking photos of them is pointless.

Charleston is a great place and it's beaches and creeks are spectacular. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Faithful To The End

About ten years ago my little brother moved to the family farm, which is in the middle of nowhere, to reorganize his life. His desire to stop smoking herbs and drinking was far to weak to stand against the climate that he had grown up in. His only hope was to remove himself completely from this overwhelming influence. The farm was just the place. Surrounded by God fearing, America loving, neighbor loving, benevolent, kind country people, he naturally began to walk uprightly and shake loose from the chains that bound him. Of course, this success only with the grace that comes from God.

As he began to learn how to live in sobriety and looking for a sense of purpose, someone offered him a dog. A dog was a splendid idea. The farm was without a dog and needed one, my brother needed the kind of friend that only a dog could be. He was given a seven month old pure breed German Shepard whom he named Faith. Faith instantly bonded with my brother and a deep, important, relationship was born. Any good dog needs love and my brother needed the medicinal qualities of such a bond. At the same time Faith became family to the rest of my family as well. She naturally began to organize the farm. She kept the marauding coyotes at bay, put the cats in their places, chased all of the coons away, and became a deterrent to the stranger hunting for anhydrous. It did not take long and she was family and loved by all.

Faith was a massive dog. She was very strong and highly aggressive toward any threat. Her favorite pass-time was to go out and pick fights with packs of coyotes. She only feared two things, ever since my cousin Tim shot her with his shotgun for coming on to his farm and picking a fight with his dog she has been terrified of guns- and understandably thunder. The majority of the year the grandparents and my brother were isolated away from people. This became fertile ground to building deep bonds between all on the farm. Faith loved them all very deeply.

After many years went by, my grandparents needed to move into town as they were getting up in age. My father's work on his book took him around the world and away from his farm and my brother needed to move to Wyoming for work. This left Faith alone on the farm.

We all grieved for Faith. Her needs were taken care of by family who continued to farm my grandparents farm but she was mostly alone. This arrangement has existed for nearly three years now. One of our concerns, as she was getting old, was that she would die alone. Being someone who loved a dog very deeply and being concerned about Faith I would actually pray for her. My dad admitted to praying for her regularly and knowing my grandparents, they certainly prayed for her. As the years rolled on and my grandparents aged they would visit the farm fewer and fewer times. One day recently my dad, being a discerning man, helped old Faith into his truck and drove to town. When they pulled up to the grandparents house they got out of the truck. Faith started to smell the ground and when she came near the house she began to jump around- clearly she smelled my grandparents. My dad tells me that my grandparents began to cry as Faith began to talk to them. My dad realized that this was an important moment for all involved. They all loved each other deeply.

Two Fridays ago, as I was working, I repeatedly thought about Faith and the day she would be dying. I prayed that she would not be alone. Early the next day my father called me to tell me that an old friend had passed- I could hear the grief in his voice. I strangely knew that he was telling me that Faith had passed even before he told me who it was.

On the Friday that she died my dad had just gotten back to his farm from being out of town. When he came into the driveway Faith met him and even before he could get out of his truck she jumped in and smothered him. Usually this is aggravating as one of Faith's favorite things to do is to find a rotting carcass and roll in it. However, this time, my dad had a vivid notion that this kind of greeting was soon to come to an end and he should give her as much sugar as long as she wanted it. When she was done dad went inside to get ready for a meeting with someone about some bulldozer work that we needed done; I believe his name was Mark. When my dad came out he and Faith walked over to my grandparents farm, nearly half a mile, where the meeting was to take place. Fellowshipping all the way dad admits that Faith gave no reason for concern- she seemed perfectly healthy. Soon Mark showed up and Faith greeted him with enthusiasm and friendliness as usual. Perhaps Faith knew that she did not need to warn anyone to be cautious as her size and intense eyes naturally provoked caution. Nevertheless, Faith was behaving as normal. After the greeting Faith went over to the truck to lie down, just a few feet away, while my dad and Mark talked. After a few minutes my dad glanced over to Faith and thought she looked a little strange. He called to her but she did not answer. Mark also remarked that she looked a little strange the way she was laying so they went over to her to find that she had just died.

I am so grateful that Faith did not die alone. I could not help but wonder why I had been thinking about Faith all day the day she died. In subsequent conversations I found out that grandma had a dream a week prior to Faith's death that was so troubling to her that she got up in the middle of the night to intercede in prayer for her. Grandma says that she wept all night long. When dad went to town to tell the grandparents that Faith had passed he said they wept as a loved family member had died.

God has given this world over to freewill. He does not impose Himself into affairs that He is not invited into. He, however, gave us prayer as a loophole to this law of freewill. Our prayer invites His all powerful imposition into situations that would otherwise be subject to chance, which allows His will to be done. We cannot presume that we know what His will is to be, but His will is always good and/or with purpose. I believe, as God would not have wanted faithful Faith to die alone, that He woke grandma up with a dream and moved her to prayer so that He could involve Himself into Faith's last day. God repeatedly reminded me of faithful Faith which moved me to prayer over the circumstances of her death because old Faith deserved to die well.

Faith was such a good girl. After all of that time alone she chose to stay on the farm and watch over it. She watched over the cats. She excitedly greeted the family when they came. She gave love. God, caring even about the sparrow that falls from the tree, cared very deeply for this faithful old girl who was so loved and who loved so. I am blessed and moved with emotion as I ponder these affairs. The conclusion that I come to with great thankfulness is that Faith, and God were Faithful to the end.

Bless You Lord Jesus.

Warm Weather!

Photo of tidal plain near Edisto Beach, SC taken by my wife.


Warm weather. Oh yes. The only use I have for cold weather in the south is for a good hunting temps. The south is limited by cold weather; we do not have ice skating, skiing, snow, or many of the things people usually benefit from when it is cold. Even the fishing is limited to minimal levels during winter. When it begins to warm the opportunities to enjoy the outdoors grow.

I enjoy saltwater fishing of all kinds; salt marshes, tidal creeks, the Charleston harbor, the Beaufort bay and surrounding islands, pier fishing, surf fishing, and off shore fishing. Crabbing and shrimping are so pleasant that prove to be well worth the effort at suppertime. My favorite meal is a freshly caught game fish grilled with charcoal and hickory chips, grits or a baked potato, and a salad- that I caught. I love beef but the exotic flavors that are potential in all saltwater fish make it a mealtime delight that surpasses everything else.

I begin to get stir-crazy at the tail end of every winter and begin dreaming of the saltwater. As the water begins to warm the fish come close to to shore and I get excited. My wife and I usually spend most of our summer weekends in the saltwater. While I fish she relaxes on the beach or on the boat. It is a most wonderful expenditure of time. My brother-in-law is a student at the College of Charleston and has his Grady White off shore fishing boat down there with him. The refrigerator is always full of the best kinds of fish steaks.

I write because I am finally moving out of the funk that has settled over me this winter. Every year I go through the same struggles. Every year the transition from funk to mania defines my life leaving me feeling guilty for being so ungrateful about my life. I would love to move back to Colorado, but this time of year that I am now beginning to enjoy on the coast, is a wet muddy mess that renders much of the outdoors unusable.

What is the point? I am never satisfied. I have found that this is not, however, limited to me. This seems to be a constant, prominent trait of humanity. Humans need more, bigger, better, constantly. We are never truly satisfied. The best we can hope for amounts to a pacifier. We are an insufferable breed. I wonder what it is about us. Why is this such a defining characteristic? When will we quit running from this to that in search of happiness? What will it take for true satisfaction, contentment, hope?

God, I am so sorry for my complaining. I am so glad that You are merciful and that Your mercies are new every day. I am the beneficiary of the fact that You are faithful and just to forgive us of all of our unrighteousness. I am blessed to know that You long to have compassion on me. Forgive me Lord, I continue to be a sinner and see no remedy in this life. This makes me aware of the truly amazing grace and love that defines Your heart toward me. You are my Father who loves me- unconditionally. Thanks Jesus.... I love you.

"Life is at best, bitter sweet".

This is my brother, his boys, my wife, and me at Bogus Basin ski resort last year. They live in the upper northwest and we, my wife and I, live in the coastal southeast. If we are lucky we get to see them once a year. If we were really lucky we would get to see them twice a year. Twice a year for the next 40 years would mean we would get to see each other 80 times until eternity begins.

Hmmm....... that does not seem like very much when one views it from that angle. Something as important as family puts this into a sad perspective. What a shame it is to know people whom you deeply love and they either live far away or, as in the case with people I knew in college, they go away and will likely never be seen again. What a shame.

When my grandmother died my mother made an interesting statement. "Life is at best, bitter sweet". I have pondered this deeply over the years and I have come to recognize it's profundity. As good as a life can be, if you actually love anyone or anything, life can only be just so good. Deep happiness, as it depends on love, will only be short lived. Because of the temporary fragile reality of life, the uncertainty of tomorrow, and the changing seasons, deep happiness is as a wisp of cool air never to be apprehended. One might successfully find themselves in that cool breeze but one will never own it. It is fleeting by it's nature and will mock all who try.

If this is true, and I challenge anyone to disprove it, not by hypothesis or theory, but by empirical evidence(a life lived), then what are we suppose to strive after. If family is so precious and life is so short then what else in this life matters but to keep them physically close and devote all energies to protecting and loving(v,) them- maintaining "happiness". This seems like a logical line of thought. What else is there?

Many believe this and many live under this premise. Most do not. Why? What else matters other than family- family being defined as those whom you love. When life is short, what endeavor merits the sacrifice of family? This is an age old question; what is life about? If not family then what?

On my mind

After a day of moving cattle from one farm to another by way of cattle drive, we had to rush to my father's farm to let my wife's shi tzu out to go and take care of his business before we broke bread at another family member's farm. In order for him to safely do his business, he needs to be accompanied and if it is dark he ought to be escorted with a shotgun. "Why?"... some of you city slickers might ask. There are many predators that would see this little guy as a great opportunity for a snack and he is completely defenseless. From eagles, to cougars, this place is still wild and I love it.

This is what I wore while moving cattle all day. Only when I went to let the dog out did I grab the shotgun. My wife thought that I looked very scary as if I were waiting for a stage coach and that deserved a photo. Hence, the photo.

I post this little blog with the photo to vent about the fact that I am not where I want to be and living the life I want to live. Don't get me wrong, we are where we are supposed to be doing what we are supposed to be doing. Moreover, even if I were in New York city, as long as it were with my precious wife I would survive; just as long as we are in God's will. Nevertheless, I reside in a suburb, surrounded by people, and do not get to see the wildlife that my heart desires to see. My wife is a college prof, therefore, much of our social interaction is with academia. Although I prefer the company of intelligent people, especially those of conviction, this is among the most haughty, opinionated, lily livered, limp risted, do nothing, cowardly communities in existence. Not all of these folks are as I described but this seems to be a common trait among the pampered overly educated dreamers of academia.

If I lived at the family farm I would be found in these rugged clothes, working with pragmatic hard working people, toting a gun which I love to do, and able to see wildlife regularly. At any given time one might see from one to a dozen eagles sittling in the trees above my dad's pond fishing. I would survive on a diet of vegies that I had grown, whether, fresh or canned. Meat that I killed and butchered and regularly fish that I caught. Regular exercize, fresh air, and freedom. I could run naked for days and never be seen if there were not so many thorny kinds of plants to catch a variety of appendages:) I love the farm and I always desire to be there.

I had time to vent a little so I did. I am sorry.

Uncle Tom's Cabin and the family farm

Have you ever read Uncle Tom's Cabin? I have and it is one of the most important books I have ever read. Many "civil rights" activists complain that the book was a pro-slavery propaganda piece. These people either have never read the story and are parroting the talking points of someone else with ulterior motives or they are ignorant to the real message of the book. UTC is NOT pro-slavery as many ignorantly espouse- evidenced by the fact that this book made indignant the majority of non-slave owning Americans, north and south, and the greeting that Harriet Beecher Stowe received when first met by Lincoln which went something like this..... "greetings to the little lady who started the great war." This book is an allegory of Christ; more specifically, an allegory of sacrifice for the love of others. I wept through most of this most inspired work.

I wept for a few reasons:

First, because it is clear that Tom, a man who knew God, loved his neighbor more than himself. If there is perfect love it will serve rather than demand service. It will sacrifice rather than live for self. Perfect love hath no man than He lay down his life for His brethren. Tom, loving that which was lost more than his own life, gave up his freedom from slavery, which he knew was eventually going to cost him his life, for the sake of demonstrating love to his fellow slaves on a remote plantation who were devoid of life. He made this sacrifice because he knew the love that God had shown him, knew of the abundant life that is natural to GENUINE relationship with Jesus, and saw that the poor slaves on the plantation would never know it if he did not make the sacrifice. Tom endured the hardship and the death for the joy set before him in knowing Jesus and giving everything for His eternal purposes. Tom gave everything for the lives of his neighbors- perfect love.

Second, as I read this inspired story I realized that I was reading this book according to sovereign leading. I was reading the book at a time when I was very much inclined to pack my family up and move us to the vicinity of the family farm in remote Iowa- a place that has always held my heart. I sensed, at the time, that I was supposed to remain where I was for an assignment that had yet to be made clear. I endeavored to ignore those whispers of the Spirit as I desperately wanted to live the country life and NOT the urban sub-urban one. I love South Carolina, particularly the beach and the marsh but my heart is with cattle, horses, the wind, and the isolation of the Great Plains. I even love the winters there. I love it.

I remembered through this story that this life is short, but a vapor, and apart from the eternal purposes of God is relatively meaningless, to eternity. What profit is it to a man to live for happiness for some 70 odd years and neglect the things that will define eternity? Eternity, especially when this life I have been given is intended to prepare people who would not otherwise be prepared for coming eternity. What kind of selfishness am I contemplating? As much as I love the farm I know that this life is not my own; that I have been bought with a price. I know that there are good works prepared for me to walk in that are only found as I live in God's will for my life. The assignment that God has for me in the place that He desires is really all that matters. A person told me once that on the other side of great sacrifice is great blessing, especially if it connects the lost with the Lover of their souls.

This is on my mind today because I am melancholy about not being where my heart desires. However, I recognize as I look back over the past four years since I read UTC that clearly God has desired that we remain here. Some amazing things have happened, and it is quite clear that we are supposed to be where we are for now. I am grateful for the message of Uncle Tom's Cabin; the Civil War that set into motion the Bill of Rights for all men and the message to me that God's purposes require sacrifice but the Life and the purpose that is born is eternal.

God bless in the name of Jesus the great and soon coming King.